Have you ever had a fight or an argument with your spouse and come away wondering how your beautiful wedding, with all its dreams, hopes, and joys, has somehow culminated in a torrential rain of arguments and frustration? Has your only advice been, “Just hang in there…” or “Just remember you love each other…”? Have you ever felt there has got to be practical, measurable, day-to-day tips and techniques out there that can return your marriage back to the glory it once was?
The Marriage Code is dedicated to educating people of the inner workings & practical steps that can take almost any marriage and transform it into a terrific, lasting, and fulfilling marriage. The power is within you, and we’ll show you how!
My name is Phillip Enkey, co-author of the Marriage Code and co-host of the Marriage Code podcast along with Benjamin Boekweg. After being married for almost six years I thought of something one of my financial mentors once said to a group of me and my colleagues, “Hey if you don’t argue in your marriage you’re either crazy, not really in love or lying to yourself”. I thought for a moment. Well I don’t think I’m crazy. Dani and I are certainly in love. Am I lying to myself? I thought back on my relationship with my wife from the moment that we met to this moment now. Nothing comes to mind, in fact I can’t think of a single time my wife and I have ever had an argument or fight of any kind.
So I asked Dani “Sweetheart am I missing something here? Have we never fought or argued about anything? Has our relationship been as good as I think it is or am I way-off-in-space-delusional?” She thought for a moment and then responded “No, I’m trying to think and I can’t remember us ever fighting or arguing before. We have certainly disagreed on things in the past but we never argued or fought over it.” I now find myself asking my wife this at least one a week now “Sweetheart, you would tell me if I’m in lala land wouldn’t you? I feel like our marriage is amazing! Am I missing something here?” And her answer is usually along the lines of something like this, “No! Our marriage is amazing!”
My name is Benjamin Boekweg, co-author of the Marriage Code and co-host of the Marriage Code podcast along with Philip Enkey. I am an I.T. guy by profession and a family man. I met Phillip at church and when we got to know each other we realized that we both have never had a fight with our spouses. And since we’re not related, and come from two opposites sides of the country, it can’t be a genetic thing or a social thing. So we began to explore the different things we do in our marriages and we have found some fascinating correlations! Simple things that we both do that fosters an environment where resolutions and trust grow like plants in the garden and where conflict is taken out like the trash. Since then we’ve been studying what does and does not work in marriage and communication; now we want to share this with the world.